Catastrophe Insurance Group

Category: Risk

  • Life Insurance for a Creature With Nine

    Life Insurance for a Creature With Nine

    At Catastrophe Insurance Group, we try to keep things simple, which means we complicate them and then take a nap.

    If you take only one thing from this, take this: a deductible negotiated by yowling is not a bug. It is the product.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    Naturally there was a committee. Naturally the committee was a pile of boxes, and naturally one box was occupied.

    Our standard approach involves an exclusion for anything already on the floor, followed by a risk assessment completed from a high shelf, followed by a brief and unexplained sprint.

    In summary: act confidently, deny everything, and always keep a clear route to the nearest box.

  • Bundling Your Couch and Your Dignity

    Bundling Your Couch and Your Dignity

    We have been doing this for what feels like nine lives, and we are still not sure who is in charge.

    If you take only one thing from this, take this: a risk assessment completed from a high shelf is not a bug. It is the product.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    Our team did a careful study. By study we mean someone knocked it off the table to see what would happen.

    The old guard prefers a deductible negotiated by yowling. The new guard prefers whatever is on the other side of the door.

    Thank you for reading, and please do not leave anything on the edge of a surface. You know why.

  • Premiums Rise After Three Broken Mugs

    Premiums Rise After Three Broken Mugs

    At Catastrophe Insurance Group, we try to keep things simple, which means we complicate them and then take a nap.

    We asked a customer for feedback. They looked at us, blinked slowly, and left a single hair on the form.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    Our standard approach involves a claims form that has footprints on it, followed by a deductible negotiated by yowling, followed by a brief and unexplained sprint.

    The old guard prefers a risk assessment completed from a high shelf. The new guard prefers whatever is on the other side of the door.

    Thank you for reading, and please do not leave anything on the edge of a surface. You know why.